Kikita and the Ashes Go To Cuba

(I, Kikita, wrote this post.)

If you're Cuban (or any other type of Latino) I'm sure you know about New Year's Eve Traditions.

This year I decided that, since I was now 26, I would do things MY way. First, I did all of the classic traditions on Miami time. When it was midnight in Miami (9pm here) I was listening to a Cuban song, eating my grapes, toasting the New Year (which is always "El año que viene, estamos en Cuba" - "Next year, in Cuba"), running money out to the mailbox, dumping the water and leaving my suitcase outside. 

At midnight California time I was out salsa dancing.

The whole night felt magical.
Two weeks later, I get a call from my grandmother.

"Kikita, quieres acompañarme a Cuba?"

(Kiki, would you like to accompany me to Cuba?)

That is where it started.

For as long as I can remember, I have been dying to know in person the "patria" that I hold in my heart, but I am also desperate to see that land free.

Abuela's invitation had stirred up some very deep things for me.

The last time I had talked to Tio Timbiriche he asked me when I was coming to Cuba. Without giving it much thought, I told him "before I turn 27." (I was 25 at the time and there was no real chance of me getting there anytime soon.)

I will be 27 in June.

How I finally made my decision was I realized that a quintessential part of being Cuban is that we put family first. I couldn't very well tell my Abuela (who will be 96 on February 23rd) that she and her siblings would never be under the same roof again because my politics were against it. Politics before family?

Maybe in some cases, but not this one.

Her OLDER brother (Tio-Abuelo Fernando) will be 99 in May and he is going. They have 3 younger siblings in Cuba whose ages are: 93, 90, & 87.

If the nonagenarians are up for it, how can I not be? =D

My big, fat Cuban family has been very supportive of my trip, for which I am incredibly thankful.

I bought tickets for Abuela and me to go to Miami where we'll stay for a few days before we leave for Cuba.

 

Just as I was getting used to the idea of traveling to Cuba with Abuela and Tio-abuelo Fernando, I realized there would be one other person traveling with us . . . Papi.
Do you know the amount of paperwork involved with transporting ashes to Cuba? Neither did I.

There is no doubt that this trip is going to be incredibly emotional, but I'm saving that. Right now, I have been just taking care of business. I've had to stay detached in order to get everything done. So, please forgive my seeming irreverence when I describe what happened next . . .

I was trying to be sensitive to Mami and my tias when it came to discussing specifics so I was doing as much as I could without them.

Finally, I told my Dad, "I don't want to bug, Mami, but I'd feel better if I had Papi's ashes at my house. I'd hate to be doing all this work and then not know where he is . . . I would look for them myself, but I have no idea where to start or what they look like. I never saw them and it's been 10 years."

Dad is so helpful. I really am grateful for him. He said he knew exactly where to look and as soon as we had gotten my car smogged and bought me a color printer, he'd find them for me.

I was installing the software for the printer while Dad was looking in the hall closet where holiday decorations, cleaning supplies, extra toilet paper and lots of extra silverware are usually kept. I heard him make a sound that rang of "I think I found it!" He carefully and solemnly brought the white box to the table, opened it, and pulled out . . . a ceramic pumpkin???

A Halloween decoration instead of ashes. How ironic and absolutely hilarious.

He continued his search and came out with another white box.

 

We were both much less serious about the whole thing. I did the honors this time and found a tin and inside the tin . . . "Ok, 1 dead Papi. Perfect. Thank you. Can you put my printer in my car?"

 

Tomorrow, Saturday, February 13th is Papi's 99th birthday.

It will also be the 49th year of my family's exile from Cuba.

Somehow, I have been honored with the task of taking the exiles home.

  

We leave for Miami on February 24th, the day after Abuela's 96th birthday. We leave for Cuba on March 1st. We get back to Miami on March 8th and we'll be back in California on March 10th.

Yes, I will take pictures. Yes, I will tell you all about it.

Yes, I am a little nervous. Yes, I am extremely excited. 

And, yes, I can't quite believe it either.

Felicidades, Papi, and Happy Valentine's Day.

Comments

[Ody]

Thank you for sharing!Excellent Post my friend!!!

[Mario]

You know how excited I am for you. I can't wait to hear all about it and see the pictures. What a wonderful and momentous event to share with your Abuela. You're a good granddaughter, chica. Enjoy your time in the homeland and try not to cry too much. XO

[Michele Caridad]

wow...you defenitely have an honorable and important job ahead of you....but more than that...you have an opportunity to see where you are from and that is awesome....but also scary i admit!
not only are you doing a HUGE grandaughter task but handling alot of emotional and realistic deals that some people 3 times your age havent been able to overcome...
dont go with any expectations...getting culture shocked when you arrive in a Cuba and finding that the Cuba that we know of thru stories and traditions, even food, is only just that, a memory....
-you'll be chaperona to not only one but two abuelos...mijita..dont be shocked when they outrun you!! LOL
-take as many pictures of where your mom and tias lived (1 million will not be enough cause when you are in your living room with the familia slideshow after the trip, the corner where one of them used to wait for the bus is the one picture you didnt take...LOL
-trying to grasp every possible concrete memmory so you can then pass it on (future) and sideways (to your siblings)
-absorb as much of your past as you can .... that building you visit this trip might be still be standing when you get to go back...
-trying not to cry (since i have read you too are an emotional i-wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve-type)

i totally hope you have the MOST AMAZING time!!!

and you are in Miami for a week...let's see if we can plan with Amanda to finalyl meet in person! mojitos?

[Kristen Benson]

I'm speechless after reading this. Wow. May God bless your trip, Amy.

[Ernesto Suárez]

Good luck! I'll read all about it as soon as you post it!

[Maria Eugenia]

As a faithful reader of this blog aand fellow Cuban I am thrilled that you are going. I am also very impressed by your family's complete acceptance of this trip. This is very important. While my parent were alive they never wanted me to visit Cuba and I respected that. They have both been gone for a few years now, and I miss them terribly. During this time, I became very close to my mother's only sister who still lives in Havana. I have decided to visit with my teenage son next year. My aunt is getting older and I have a tremendous yearning to see her again. She still lives in the same house my mother grew up in and that I remember as a child. I only started thinking about going to visit recently because I felt such guilt about going against my parents. But, I am 51 years old and I feel the time has come to re-connect with my roots and share all this with my son. I will be anxiously waiting to read about your trip and will be praying that you have a wonderful time. This post brought me to tears but it strengthened my conviction to visit Cuba and made me realize that my parents might even be happy with my decision.

[mica]

Wow! I am so excited for you! Keep a journal, before, during and after. What an honor and treasure for you. I am so proud...maybe someday we can meet there for some cafecito...sigh. Have a great time seems too little to wish for you. How about have a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
xoxo

[mica]

Count me in for mojitos, a group drink would be great!

[Amanda]

Kikita, put it on your schedule. I'm in!!

[Amanda]

Kikita, you know I have mixed feelings about this trip, but I definitely think family trumps any underlying, unspoken, "elephant in the room" political tone your trip can stir up. It's a special thing, to be able to go on this journey with your grandmother, And after 10 years, to be able to honor your grandfather's wishes. I'm sure if you'd chosen not to go, you'd regret it, particularly when the time comes that your grandmother is no longer with us.

I hope you and the nonagenarians have a great time together!

p.s. see you soon =D

[alysa giorgetti]

Have a wonderful time. Wish I could go.

[Marfa (crafting marfa)]

Wow, I could be writing this blog myself! Well, except for the fact that I got to live in Cuba until I was 10 and I'm over 26 (don't ask/don't tell policy here). But I certainly know all about the big fat Cuban family and the big fat Cuban life outside of Cuba...lol I found your blog by looking for Willie Chirino's lyrics for Ya Vienen Llegando and I'm glad I found it. Will be adding it to my list of favs. Good luck on your trip. I've never gone back, but I can understand your wanting to see the island and all. Good luck. Hope all goes well.

[CarrieFWeir]

Amy y family! Good luck!!!! What a beautiful and wonderful story. I can't wait to hear details.

xo

[Barbie]

Wow! As another Cuban-American, I have always wanted to go to Cuba also. To see all those places that we have spent a lifetime hearing about. Although, I will always honor my parents wishes,and not go while "El Diablo" is there. I hope one day that I can go and visit Cuba. So, have fun and post alot of pictures! Thanks for sharing!