Lucy was in 4th grade and Jonathan was in 1st when I started homeschooling them.
Believe it or not, even back then, when people found out we were homeschooling them and that we intended to do so for as long as necessary, some would very sincerely ask:
"What about prom?"
Yes. They did. I don't think it ever crossed any of the nay-sayers minds that perhaps my children would grow up more secure and comfortable in their own skin by not having to negotiate the battlefield of what currently passes for public school education.
I think back to my own high school years and I remember the proms I attended. I remember being scared and excited and yet, feeling incredibly awkward. I had never dressed up in a formal gown. I had never been given a corsage or had pinned on a boutonniere. (Nobody teaches you this stuff, do they?)
I look back at my prom photos today and I see myself in satin formal wear and gloves (gloves!) and I think, "Wow, we both look supremely uncomfortable."
Me & my date, Terry B. - (I had never seen an orchid up close and personal before this moment.) May 1971.In the formal portrait we are positioned in the classic pose that I'm pretty sure is called: "Awkward Prom Pose #1. (You want him to put his hands where?? No. I obviously wasn't breathing here and to top it off, I forgot my gloves. I had gloves, people!)
But going back to the original well-meaning question: "What about prom?"
How were my poor homeschooled kids (which I was already so obviously depriving of a normal life and education) going to be able to function in the "real" world, and how would they be able to survive in that world if I kept them from experiencing the joys of promenading in formal attire?
Well, for those of you that may be worried about the socialization of my children and how that would play out if they didn't get to go to prom, you can rest easy. The independent learning high school that Lucy attends sponsors a prom each year. (You may now breath a collective sigh of relief.)
- It's a lovely event held at the Disneyland Hotel. (Win!)
- I didn't make her wear gloves (gloves!) like my mother made me back in 1971, so her wrist corsage was easier to put on.
- And yes, I taught her how to pin on the boutonniere. (Hello...Homeschooling Mom! I teach stuff! =D)
Lucy looked lovely. Her not-boyfriend (He's a boy. He's her friend. He's not her boyfriend. Shut up.), Matt (who was also homeschooled, but that's not important right now) looked extremely dapper in his tux.
She wore her favorite footwear and, unlike many of the other girls who got brand-new-trendy-yet-painful-prom shoes and had already taken them off before the dance began, she was comfortable in her shoes the entire night. (Win!)
I'm glad she got to go to prom. Not because I believe in the sacredness of the ritual, but because I love so much that both of them had such fun together and were obviously so very much at ease.
Let me turn your attention to Exhibit A:
"Those kids look so relaxed together and they're wearing fake mustaches. EPIC WIN!"
And that, my friends, explains the difference between promenading as an awkward teenager and promenading as a secure teenager with someone who is a good friend. These two are are obviously very comfortable in their own skins.
I'm pleased.
(But now I'm thinking she might have liked some gloves. =D)
Today's lesson in homeschooling is complete. ;-)
Oh that stupid socialization issue! Yeah, like school is a bed of thornless roses where everyone is so nice to everyone else instead of a real-life version of - rats - what's that book where the boys are shipwrecked and they kill the pig and take the fat boy's glasses? You know what I mean.
I would have been perfectly happy to stay at home all day. I went to school and didn't get invited to my prom or a single high school dance. So was I socialized?
Posted by: The gold digger | May 10, 2010 at 06:20 AM
marta: i think she has ended up the secure teeanger , not because of homeschooling and not because of lack of pressure but because she's YOUR daughter and i "virtually" see how much very much you are involved in their lives (whether adults or teenagers) in a healthy way and how much you teach them and set them up to be great adults...that's what i get by pieceing togehter all your posts...so yes...the homeschooling is a major reason but i think it's also the "teacher"
Posted by: Michele Caridad | May 10, 2010 at 07:42 AM
well I was public schooled I know the education was poor, so cheers I know your children are probably better prepared for college that I was.
But i did learn some things, I learned how terrible people can be, how to defend myself from crazy people, and explored myself, and be a little deviant ha ha. I remmeber my prom, lots of after partying getting drunk, dancing, and crazy.
I had fun :)
Posted by: Nathan | May 10, 2010 at 09:08 AM
Nathan,
I'm glad that you had fun at your prom, but "after partying" and "getting drunk" and "crazy" are some of the exact reasons why the kids are home schooled. We want their high school years to be rated PG (or maybe PG-13). Not R for "scenes of teen drinking, partying, and general craziness."
;-)
Thank you for serving as a prime example of why we home school.
Posted by: Kikita | May 10, 2010 at 10:47 AM
prom was overated but i'm glad i went. but thats not why i'm writing today i'm writing because i got my MBFCF coffee cup on friday and have used it the last 3 days in a row i love it! having won it on this site just makes it more cool. anyway marta and amy thanks again.
Posted by: jose s. | May 10, 2010 at 11:08 AM
lol. your right, but it is fun being rated R but I understand no parent wants their kids to be rated "R" and bad things can come out of it if one isn't careful. but yeah I do wish my education would've been higher quality I struggled so much entering college to catch up on my math and science skills. I'm finally up to date :)
Posted by: Nathan | May 10, 2010 at 11:49 AM
My prom was really cool! Except for the fact that I was (and still am) a lousy dancer. But I could fake it pretty good. We didn't have to worry about getting drunk, being crazy, none of that. The fact that our parents trusted us so much, backed with the fear of getting into SERIOUS trouble (not with the law, but at home, I didn't want to die young!) kept us in line at the time. The big rush for us is that we stayed up ALL night long, sat on the beach to watch the sun rise, went out to breakfast, and slept the entire day afterward! I just wish I would have thought about fake mustaches! Marta, my GF at the time wore gloves too... in 90% humidity South Florida. I will NOT entertain everybody on this blog with a picture of the electric blue brocade tux I wore!!!!
Posted by: Ed | May 12, 2010 at 05:02 PM