Soooo, I decided that starting today instead of regaling you with stories of my lovely and delightful big, fat, Cuban family, I will from now on post only YouTube videos of Ukrainian rock bands.
Enjoy.
(It really picks up at about 2:47....wait for it.....)
Feliz Dia de los Inocentes!
I totally April-fooled you, didn't I? ;-)
I have been doing some spring cleaning here at MBFCF (and at home too, but that's not important right now).
I've been making some slight changes that I've been meaning to get to for a while now.
I especially love that last feature. I mean... I've written over 750 posts! That's a lot of posts! You might as well benefit from all of that writing. =D
So if you scroll down to the bottom of each of my posts (like this one, for example) it will say the following...
You might like these stories:
And then it links you to 3 other posts within my blog. Isn't that genius?
That way, on a day like today, while I'm still catching up with the week's laundry and looking for creative inspiration, you can amuse yourself by reading stuff I've already written.
Genius.
Let me know what you think. I'll be folding socks and tshirts and sheets and towels and....
*SIGH*
Since I was already playing on my computer and procrastinating because I have so much stuff to do that I really don't want to...
I also Simpsonized myself....
Meet Martica. The Simpsons' new Cuban neighbor. ;-)
(Disclaimer: I don't watch this show, but someone sent me the link and I couldn't resist...)
I know. Shut up.
I had a lovely exchange with my 15 year old, Lucy (Blog Hijacker in Training) in which she told me that I was her hero. (I know. Shut up.)
"You can do so much, Mom. You are fun to be with. You are so generous with your time...."
She might have said more. I don't know because I was focusing so hard on keeping the tears from flowing. (I am a very SLOPPY crier. My nose gets red and my eyes get swollen and close up. It's not a pretty picture, but that's not important right now.)
As a parent, this is just one of those moments where you think, "Wow. It was worth every minute of grief for this."
And then, because I'm me, I started to fantasize about exactly what my superpowers would be and of course, what I would wear. =D
The Astonishing Kind Philanthropist.
Yes, that sounds like me, doesn't it?
Except for the tiny waist and of course, I would never be barefoot. I'd insist on some great RED boots. ;-)
Go create your own superhero at The Hero Factory. Come back and tell me who you'd be.
If you were thinking this was going to be a post about a tv show from the 70's, ("de plane! de plane!") I'm sorry to disappoint.
What happened was that Eric went to see our accountant yesterday and got the really, really bad news that we owe the IRS....well...a lot.
(Our accountant just so happens to have his office in Newport Beach, which boasts one of the highest per capita bizzillionaire populations in So Cal - it makes you wonder if maybe we're helping to support him in the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed, but that's not important right now.)
So, Eric left the accountant's office DEPRESSED and started texting me:
He finds he's close to Fashion Island - which has a number of high priced shops and upscale eateries. (I just wanted to use the phrase "upscale eateries." =D)
As his let's-move-into-Fashion-Island fantasy unravels, he starts sending pictures with captions:
It was after the second Porsche that I voted him off "the island" and asked him to please come home.
We still owe the IRS a lot, but at least they can't take our sense of humor. ;-)
Isn't it bad enough that I have to tip-toe my way through yet another Friday the 13th in a span of 28 days??
I also have to deal with this creature crossing my path, back and forth, back and forth, a dozen times a day:
Meet The Cat Bastet. Not just Bastet. Her full name is: The Cat Bastet.
(I highly recommend that you read Elizabeth Peters - the Amelia Peabody Series to really enjoy the reference, but that's not important right now.)
I'm not genuinely superstitious, but I think that I'll be staying in bed for the rest of the day.
Porsi las moscas. ;-)
"Most small boys are barbarians. It is a
wonder any of them live to grow up."
~ Amelia Peabody
I've been blogging for about 2 1/2 years now.
When I first started it was kind of a dirty-little-secret. I just didn't know how to explain it. So I didn't. But I know I was constantly looking for stories to tell.
Maybe it was an age thing? Or an untapped (for me) creative outlet?
I just know that as a scrapbooker and storyteller and accidental family historian I had stuff to say. I honestly didn't expect anyone except my family and maybe a few friends to even read it.
Eric (my sweet husband) was the one who encouraged me, "Just write from your heart. You have a lot to share."
And so I started my blogging adventure.
I researched blogging platforms and knew immediately that TypePad was the one that most fit my style.
Almost immediately I had to upgrade from the $4.95 a month Basic to the $8.95 per month Plus. (No, I'm not quite a $14.95 per month Pro, but that's not important right now.)
And so I blog. I'm a blogger. A Cuban-American Blogger.
And I love it.
1. I get to write about the things I'm passionate about.
2. I get to cook and share my food with you. (If you lived nearby, I'd just invite you over....)
3. Blogging has made it possible for me to connect with Cubans all over the world. (isn't that crazy?)
4. Blogging forces me to think. (Always a plus.)
5. I get to blog about anything that's interesting to me or funny or serious.
6. It's the next best thing to being a stand-up comedian. (which I totally might have been, if I hadn't found blogging. =D)
7. If I Google "my big fat cuban family" I'm all over the first 3 pages of Google which makes me feel accidentally cool.
8. I really think the name of my blog is inspired. ;-)
9. My blog is mine. It completely reflects my ideas, my values, my point of view. (except when my daughters hijack it...)
10. Blogging is therapeutic at times.
11. My blog has helped me to meet some of my very favorite people.
12. Blogging gives me something to talk about. "So, what do you do?"
13. Blogging is easy.
14. My blog has given me a way to reach the next generation of young Cuban-Americans. I love that.
15. I've gotten to meet most of the Smart Cuban Authors on my list there on the right.
16. My blog is like an archive of my life. (only a bit neater than my journal and with pictures!)
17. I get to celebrate the milestones in the lives of those closest to me. I like that a lot. A Tribute post being much better and more thoughtful than a Hallmark card, in my opinion.
18. I get to be myself. (Yes, I am genuinely this goofy.)
19. I get to write as much or as little as I like. I get to write about deeply thought out subjects and I get to write "toss away" posts just because I feel like it.
20. Blogging has given me a reason to open a youtube account (I'm smrtqbn) and a twitter account. (I kind of suck at twittering so far, but I plan to get better.)
21. I love posting pictures to illustrate my stories.
22. Reading blogs is what I do each morning with my coffee. I make it a point to comment if I read something that intrigues or amuses. I know that we bloggers love comments. (hint, hint)
23. Blogging lets me occasionally over-share with impunity.
24. Blogging has helped me find my voice - and it doesn't sound at all like what I imagined...
25. I'm VERY proud to be a blogger now.
And no, I'm not celebrating any kind of anniversary, but okay..... I'll still give something away....
I have mugs with each of the original provinces on them. La Habana, Pinar del Rio, Oriente, Matanzas, Las Villas, Camaguey. Leave me a comment and tell me which part of the island your family is from and (if applicable) how long you've been reading this blog. The winners will get to choose the mug with the Province of their choice. I think it's only fair.
I'll do a drawing on Friday, the 20th, which, come to think of it is the date I posted my world-famous Guavalicous pastelito recipe which put me on the Cuban food blogging map. So, there it is. Something to celebrate!
Thanks for reading MBFCF.
I'm a blogger. I blog. I *heart* blogging. =D
I must apologize in advance for the following post.
My brain is fried from all the recent creative output. Proceed at your own discretion....
*************************************************************
So, I'm sitting at my local nail salon getting my nails done (obviously) which requires me to sit still for a prolonged period of time listening to the sweet Vietnamese girls jabbering to one another, when suddenly my mind starts to wander and I notice this:
Barbicide? Really?? What exactly IS THIS??
Hmm... I wonder if that's what it's called when a Barbie is murdered? ;-)
Or is that what you call it when a Barbie decides to off herself because she was once a unique and trend-setting fashion model with a fabulous wardrobe in the 60's:
and then she lost her way in the 70's thinking that maybe she could be an astronaut:
and tried to choose too many career paths through the 80's and 90's such as Sea World Trainer (although don't you agree that she might look a lot like a chewy, pink and purple Scooby-snack to Shamu?)
But now, poor thing, she's reduced to wearing skanky outfits (at her age, too!)
Or maybe she's become severely depressed because even though Ken has been her boyfriend for over 40 years and is always up for a Beach Party and she's had the wedding dress for decades now, he just won't commit and come to think of it, does she really want to be with a guy who is comfortable wearing stuff like this??
I know, sweetie, I feel your pain, but is Barbicide really the answer??
(By the way, my nails look fabulous and yes, sometimes it's really fun to be me, but seriously, don't you agree that I should really take some time off soon?) =D
8 superheroes.
8 parents.
240 grapes.
1 murder.
It was New Year's Eve at the National Superhero Convention.
Sadly, the Blue Shadow had been found crushed to death before the convention started.
It was up to the Incredible League of Superheroes to solve the crime.
Back row: The Human Ape, Robotron, Supersleuth, The Brooder.
Front row: Windstorm, The Stapler, Shadowmasque, and Mysta.
They made a formidable team.
Although they all had a motive for murder and there were many clues to be sorted through, they all had alibis. *sigh*
Most of them air-tight. Except for one.
And so the heroes worked together to bring the killer to justice.
They did well, I think because they were so cooperative with the Local Law Enforcement.
It took my own super power of Spousal Persuasion to get him into this get-up.
Which makes me..... A Force to be Reckoned With. ;-)
Back in the day, Kodak had a genius ad campaign for their sweetly priced Instamatic cameras.
From around the early 60's and into the 70's their pre-Christmas ads would say something about marking the wrapped camera with a tag that said "Open me first!" Serious genius.
So, you're probably thinking that this post is about cameras, but aside from the previous fun fact, (and the fact that I'm still upset that I don't have my real camera back from the shop) it's not.
Jonathan (the almost 13 year-old) got Adam (the 22 year-old) a Self-inflating Whoopee Cushion for Christmas.
Yes, the kind you sit on and it makes a loud and melodious... umm....trumpet-like sound...umm....oh, you know...
It makes a farting noise!
There, I said it. (blush, blush)
The big selling point for this was the it "self-inflates after each f*rt!" This new feature makes it unnecessary to blow it up after each use. I know. Someone spent some serious time, energy and money devising this energy efficient update to the classic gag. It staggers the imagination....
Any kind of bathroom humor, of course, is irresistible to boys of all ages. My boys are no exception.
So, this New and Improved Self-inflating Whoopee Cushion was the very first gift that was opened on Christmas morning at our house.
And while we did have actual Christmas music playing in the background, the soundtrack of our Christmas sounded decidedly, well....
umm.....different. =D
(Confession: it made me laugh (a carcajadas!) EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. but that's not important right now.)
Did I mention that Eric's parents came over for Christmas dinner???
Ay Dios mio.
So, Lucy and I are out shopping.
And we get to our favorite store and we find this sign in the parking lot:
Really?
How exactly does this work??
It stops me cold. Every. Single. Time.
Seriously. My synapses are on warp-speed. Is this really for real?
So we walk a little further.
Ah! The Perimeter! (ignore it....)
I'd be lying if I told you this wasn't incredibly tempting. My imagination is so completely captured by the whole locking shopping cart concept that I feel a bit crazed.
However, since I spend most of my shopping hours in this store....
I'd hate to find out the hard way that the whole "secure shopping cart perimeter" thing was not some elaborate corporate joke.
Still, I can't help it. I makes me crazy and I'm completely driven to distraction.
Me (staring blindly up at the sign): "I can't remember what we came here for."
Lucy: "Well... I know we didn't come to test the boundaries of the Shopping Cart Perimeter."
Quick review: I'm supposed to be the responsible one here, right? She knows me so well..... ;-)
I have a big, long list of things to do.
And I have been so busy all week that I thought I'd just wait for Saturday to tackle all the things left undone.
Yes, but am I actually doing any of the tasks on my list?
Although, I have to say, that being Cuban, I'm not really sure I know how to lollygag, but that's not important right now. =D
Happy Saturday!
(cartoon courtesy of the brilliant Pete Joison of blurburger.com)
The following post has been brought to you by the fabulous Kikita:
Every year I go through the same thing. Every year it cracks me up. Every year I am reminded of what an Uber-geek I am when it comes to this Lord of the Rings stuff.
Ever since we've been throwing these parties for Bilbo's (and Frodo's) birthday, we have to get a cake. Ok, some years we just bake a cake. But I tend to veto the home-made cake part because I LOVE the idea of buying a cake and having the bakery person write on it. I LOVE sharing that part of my Uber-geekness with people. "Oh, yes, of course we get a cake every year! And we ALWAYS have them write on it!"
The BEST part of all of it, though, is the face of the bakery person. It starts sort of confused and then morphs into a look of awe.
"BEEL-boh?"
Yes, Bilbo.
"One-one-one?"
Yes, one-hundred and eleven.
"WOW! That is amazing!"
At this point I just smile, why ruin the person's excitement with a trivial fact like Bilbo is a fictional character from a novel written over 50 years ago?
As I walk through the store to the checkout I get more looks of awe and wonder as people see that I am carrying a cake for someone who is turning 111 years old. Don't hate me, but I revel in it.
I can only imagine what their faces would look like if they knew the truth . . . ;-)
LOTR fans unite!
What is one of your favorite lines from the movie?
Mine is the song Merry and Pippin sing in the Green Dragon:
NOTE: If you know what I mean when I refer to Middle-earth, and you consider yourself a Tolkien uber-geek, then read on.... (If not, then come back in a few days when I will be posting a delicious recipe for a Cuban Pudín de Pan or Cuban bread pudding). ;-)
You would think that for all the fuss we go through that it's a family member's birthday. And I guess in a way it is.
Every year on September 22nd, we celebrate Bilbo and Frodo Baggins' birthdays.
I know. Uber-geeks.
But I've read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy multiple times to my kids, even before they were born. (because my uber-geekiness knows no bounds.) =D
I started the tradition of having the birthday party for Bilbo when they were young and hey, this is the kind of stuff we homeschoolers live for!
And so, year after year, I make a feast fit for hobbits (and Cubans) and if our schedules permit, we will watch The Fellowship of the Ring - the extended version, of course.
We will sit in our regular spots with our Hobbit names on placecards and we will toast Bilbo's and Frodo's health.
Why do we go through all this trouble and silliness? Well, now it's become a tradition and, well, now I'm committed.
Or.... maybe.....
Now I should be committed? ;-)
Or maybe I just know that this is one of those memories that will last them a lifetime.
From wordle.net comes a "blog word generator."
Apparently this is what my blog has been saying this week:
Who knew? ;-)
Go here to make your own.
My darling blog-friend, Chantel has tapped me for the following meme:
Choose a favorite book or movie or television program (wait! Stop right there..... I have too many favorite books and movies and I only watch tv when someone I know and love and trust recommends something that I then have to go out and rent because we don't get any channels without cable here in The Bubble, and because we've chosen not to have cable I depend on my friends to know me well enough to know what I would enjoy watching, but that's not important right now....phew!) and name the characters you would:
- Bake cupcakes for:
- Trust with the keys to my car:
- Put thumbtacks on the chair thereof:
- Have a crush on:
- Pack up and leave if they moved next door:
- Vote for President:
- Pick as my partner in a buddy movie:
- Pair up:
- Vote off the island and into the volcano:
My current favorite tv program is PSYCH (because Season 2 is now on dvd, otherwise I couldn't be watching it, so... thanks, Pam & Gene!) and there are only a handful of regular characters on the show, thus making this either really difficult or entirely too easy.....
- Bake cupcakes for: Henry. He'd be confused at first, but he'd totally appreciate the gesture once he got to know me.
- Trust with the keys to my car: Gus (aka Magic Head). He's the sensible one.
- Put thumbtacks on the chair thereof: Lassy. That goes without saying.
- Have a crush on: Shawn. (if you watched the show you'd understand)
- Pack up and leave if they moved next door: Lassy. That goes without saying, too.
- Vote for President: Chief Vick. I'm not being politically correct, either.
- Pick as my partner in a buddy movie: Juliet. She would, of course, be the beautiful ambitious blond and I would be the plucky Cuban comedy relief. ;-)
- Pair up: Shawn and Juliet. (umm.... I think they date in real life anyway....sigh.)
- Vote off the island and into the volcano: Lassy. Seriously. It goes without saying.
The following 29 seconds will explain everything:
I swear, if we had cable, I would NOT have a life. =D
Prepare yourself South Florida.....
The last few days have been a flurry of texts and phone calls between my mom and my sisters and my cousins and my nieces and myself.
My big, fat, Cuban family is preparing to invade Miami. (Ay Dios mio!)
Michael and Kimberly are getting married on Friday. (Yay!)
And because of the nature of weddings and all the wedding business that has to happen during the reception and all that, well, there just won't be enough face-to-face time, so... we're all getting together again on Saturday. (Ay Dios mio!)
So, see, we're not just going to the wedding (which I'm sure will be just fabulous, but that's not important right now) we're TRAVELING. And as you well know, traveling involves PREPARATIONS.
And so the phone lines are burning with the questions:
"What are you wearing to the wedding?"
"Can I borrow your (fill in the blank)?"
"It's pouring rain in Miami, bring an umbrella."
"Are you having your hair done here or there?"
"What time is your pedicure?"
And so we carry on, as typical Cuban girls/sisters/cousins/nieces do.
So, world-class list maker that I am, I've got my checklist and realize that I completely forgot to get a new red lipstick! I know! Serious Makeup Emergency!! (you can tell by all the exclamation points I'm using that this is SERIOUS!!!)
My current red is down to the embarrassing scraping-with-the-lip-brush stage and I have been meaning to get myself to Nordstrom, but that would involve actually getting dressed up just to go buy lipstick and well, darn it, it's summer! And I just haven't been feeling it and blah, blah, blah.... All that to say that I never got my new lipstick. =(
Panicking here. Yes, I know it's my own fault for procrastinating and it's late in the game here. My flight leaves in a few hours....
So, I call my sister, Ofelia (who actually works at the Lancome counter at Nordstrom, which is why I get my makeup there in the first place, because I am being supportive, but I digress.....)
Me: "Ofie, Makeup Emergency! I need a red lipstick for the wedding!"
Ofie (in a completely calm, I-live-for-moments-like-this voice:
"Come over to my house. I think I might have one."
One hundred and fifty lipsticks later, I found seventeen reds.
(God, I love my family!)
Ay Dios Mio! ;-)
See you in Miami!!
(I'll be the one in the fabulous Red Lipstick. =D)
Our kids get such a kick out of the way Eric and I interact.
There's always a lot of eye-rolling and sheesh-ing when we are affectionate in their presence.
But I know they like it.
They like that we are always holding hands and giving each other meaningful looks.
Lucy especially likes to photograph us candidly. It's probably comforting to think that your parents are just genuinely affectionate and it's not just a show.
She caught us the other day when we were hiking in the local mountains. I think it's a sweet picture.
Lucy: "Look at this cool shot I got of dad and mom. What do you think?"
Amy Kikita: "Mom, the 90's called. They want their scrunchy back!"
It was sweet there for a moment..... sigh.
I'm Marta. Blogger. Mother. Documentor of Life. Cooker of Cuban Food. Wearer of Red Lipstick.
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